1Pet 3:1 in the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives.
An abusive partner only offers what they know.
They donot know Love so they offer abuse in various forms – beating, insults, emotional torture, etc, etc. BUT two wrongs never make a right. If your partner is abusive seek God to give you the grace to show him or her genuine Love and kindness. Your Love and kindness towards your partner is what will teach him or her what Love is and will eventually teach them how to Love God, themselves and how to Love you. Most abusive partners donot even Love themselves. They can not offer what they donot have or know.
When an abusive partner insults for no reason, try very hard never to insult him or her back. Insults are big marks in relationships, it is like a stain.If your partner chooses to go after other women or men, donot join him or her in doing the same, two wrongs do not make a right. Pray for him or her.
Pray for your partner daily, ask God to help you to forgive him or her for hurting you so much. Through your prayers God will bless you with peace, joy and happiness that no human mind can ever comprehend.
If your partner chooses not to help you in raising your kids, TRUST God and pray without ceasing. God will always provide for you and will help you in a supernatural way in raising your kids no matter the situation. You will certainly go through many dark nights but after each one of them God will take you to a higher level in your relationship with him.
If you treat him or her the way they deserve to be treated regardless of how badly you are treated, God will fill your Life with Love, joy, peace and happiness. Sadness from your difficulties will last a few hours sometimes minutes only or better still, you might not even feel it some times. If you ever find your self very down because of your trouble, surrender it to God and trust him that he has heard you, by the next day, God would have lighten your burden or taken it all away and you should wake up with smiles and music of Praise.
Know that people of faith turn to Love after deep suffering. That is a special gift from God. Your burden will always be so light that people will always wonder how you can be so cheerful despite all your trouble. You will learn to Love unconditionally regardless of the situation. Your partner would have hurt you to the point that nothing will hurt you anymore and all you will know will be Unconditional Love of Christ.
Please never blame your partner for Not showing you Love or treating you the way you should be treated. They donot know what is Love, and what they offer you is what they know. Instead, pray hard for them so that through you they will know Love and will offer it to God, to you and to those around them.
Always remember that any problem that doesnot kill you will make you very strong.
God will never give you more than you can handle.
Aim to be the person who will hand your partner to Christ through your mercy, Kindness and unconditional Love for him or her.
A Testimony from an abusive man who became a Pastor
This story happened in Europe and the pastor himself tells the story. I heard it some years back in London at a Bible meeting. I will use the names Hannah for the wife and Elkanah for the Husband. These are all names in the bible in the book of Samuel.
Elkanah married Hannah and she Loved him very much and wanted God to transform Elkanah into a Pastor. Unfortunately, Elkanah was a very abusive husband, he will insult Hannah, beat her, goes after several women, drinks and gets drunk and will insult her so much, urinate on himself and ask Hannah to clean it up and wash his clothes, he never helped in raising their kids.He was a worse husband any woman could have. Hannah was a very prayerful woman and treated Elkanah with unconditional Love and affection. She prayed daily for God to transformed Elkanah into a Pastor.
One evening Hannah got ready to go for her evening prayer meeting and Elkanah refused for no qualifying reason. Hannah insisted that she must go to her prayer meeting because God was priority in her life. Elkanah insisted that she must stay home but she disobeyed him and went to her prayer meeting. It was winter season, upon her return home, Elkanah had locked her outside and she tried to get into the house without any luck. She slept outside in that cold by the door so she could hear the door open when ever Elkanah will decide to open the door.
She spent the night there and in the morning Elkanah opened the door. She had fallen into a deep sleep and nearly felt as soon as the was opened. As soon as she saw him, she greeted him Loving – “God Morning honey, what can i get you for breakfast?” Elkanah didnot respond. Hannah quickly entered the house removed her coat and went straight to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for her sweat heart.
At that moment Elkanah entered the Living room, sat down in the chair and held his head and screamed that he had been with Jesus all along and he never knew. From that day he gave his life to God and shortly after he was ordained as a Pastor.
Hannah’s godly Love, deep mercy and kindness won Elkanah to Christ. Elkanah became the pastor she had prayed for patiently for many years. Elkanah also became a caring and Loving husband any woman could ever ask for.
This can happen to any man or woman out there. It takes a lot of prayers, faith and determination. It seems impossible but with God anything is possible.
A Pastor in Houston who was an alcoholic and his wife prayed him into a Pastor.
My nanny recently told me of a Pastor here in Houston from Kenya who was a drunk and very abusive towards his wife. They lost a baby and her husband was not there to support her because he was busy drinking with his friends. Many people told her to leave him because he was simply a mess. She said her husband was her own cross. She prayed faithfully for so many years and one day her husband was completely transformed and finally became a Pastor. He is the most kind, caring and loving man a woman can ever ask for. Today they are here in Houston and he gives this testimony personally. My nanny told me that he is so thin because he spends a lot of time praying and fasting for people. I intend to visit his church some day. I will find the contact details for his church for anyone who is interested in hearing the testimony first hand.
To God be the Glory
Mary Nabila Muma